arghhhhh

Below is a trailer for the documentary, "Consuming Kids" which was released in 2009. Click here to view screening and purchase info. Here is a very comprehensive list of other resources on the subject of the over-commericalization of childhood.

discipline

A good friend of mine has challenged a group of ladies to do a biblical study on the word "discipline". We are to investigate what the concept means as it pertains to God's discipline of me; how I discipline my children; and how I discipline myself.

I'd love to get some purely Biblical input...not commentary by (even) godly men and women, but simply what the Lord says about it in His Holy Word. It is going to be difficult to ignore the memories in my head of what I have read outside of Scripture, but I am going to pray for discernment and wisdom.

I hope to post some thoughts on the blog while my paper is a work in progress.

beliefs, values and behaviors

A very godly man who had been a missionary for years with the Navigators in Africa spoke to our Sunday School two days ago in relation to training children. He talked about what "worldview" really means, and he gave a great definition: "A set of assumptions held consciously or unconsciously in faith about the nature of the world, and how it works." We can picture ourselves with a set of core "beliefs", from which stem those values, and finally behaviors.

He gave the example of a particular tribe in Africa (I honestly can't remember the name of the tribe - research project?). The women from this tribe were known on the campus where he worked for being obsessed with getting married. The male students were often warned by the other guys which girls were from this particular tribe; if a guy were to ask a gal from this tribe out once, she would press him to marry, and that's all he would hear from them on. (Kind of puts a new spin on getting a degree in MRS, huh?) Well, it turns out that this particular tribe believed that if a woman died unmarried, she would be doomed to wander the earth without any eternal rest. She would even be buried away from the tribal burial site. So of course, this explains her behavior. Her whole being cried out for marriage due to her fear of eternal unrest. (I won't get into the Christian view of this...as that's not the point here...)

Therefore, if we teach our children that they are loved unconditionally by the Creator of the Universe, and they too are loved unconditionally by us as their parents, and they KNOW THIS IN THEIR BEING as a BELIEF, they are ultimately going to develop values based upon this belief, and act in behaviors based upon the belief and subsequent values. I know it's not as easy as just the way I've stated it (that's where training and discipline comes in), but I think it's a pretty great place to start! Jesus spoke of this often: clean the inside and the outside will take care of itself (in relation to hypocrites -- who ACTED great, but whose hearts were filthy and decaying, rotten, dead...) Their behavior was wonderful, but their motivations were wrong, and eventually that would boil over and become apparent in their actions.

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Matthew 23: 25 - 28

Of course, Christ is speaking about his ability to cleanse from the inside -- to cleanse us from our sins and unrighteousness. We sure need it! (Romans 3 -- I am filthy, evil, bloodthirsty, dirty, with words like asps and vipers and all.) This must be my goal as a parent when it comes to discipline and training. To aim for the heart of the matter, not the behavior. It changes everything.

I hope I did him justice -- he did speak for over an hour after all...

The picture of Ingrid above is particularly appropriate -- she caught a caterpillar in our yard a week ago, so we purchased a little bug-observation jar at Target with the hope that we will be able to observe the transformation through chrysalis to butterfly. Aren't we as parents hoping the same for our children? Our heart's desire for Ingrid and Ilsa is that they would recognize their need for salvation, grasp hold with faith and accept Christ's cleansing! Just like "Katina" -- Ingrid's OWN NAME for her little critter -- it is Greek for pure! Amen!

tall

Yesterday I measured the girls. Ilsa, 2 1/2 years old, is as tall right now as Ingrid was on her 3rd birthday. And Ingrid has grown 1 1/2 inches since her 4th birthday. This makes them both taller than 93% of other kids their ages, respectively.

I'm wearing a green shirt today that Ingrid really likes for some reason. It's just green, nothing special. But today she asked if she could wear it when she is big enough. I have a feeling that's going to be sooner rather than later.


Ingrid has also been commenting on clothes A LOT lately. Unfortunately, she's commenting on styles that Chad and I just don't approve of. I think clothing is going to be a matter of prayer for our family in relation to Ingrid. She likes anything that is glitzy and fancy, or shows shoulders and back. It's that princess syndrome again. Arghhh!!!! Belle's yellow dress (from Disney's Beauty and the Beast) is her favorite Disney Princess ball gown. Yes, there's a heirarchy of ball gowns. And Jasmine's "Arabian Nights" outfit (my description) is her favorite "everyday outfit" worn by a Disney Princess. (Jasmine is from Aladdin.) It's not the most modest thing in the world. She is begging me to "make her a Jasmine costume" for Halloween. Not gonna happen.


Again a common theme in our lives: she was exposed to something, that we didn't want her to be exposed to, outside of our home. And we're not for cloistering. I love that she loves princesses...I love to see her femininity developing. But it KILLS ME that we have to teach her this lesson at 4! Why is she even thinking about this? She is constantly asking me about the princess' "womanly forms" in relation to modesty knowing full well what I'm going to say, yet she loves that "look".


I have always wanted my children to look like children, not little adults. I don't think the little adult thing is cute at all. Yet she is constantly drawn to adult-style clothing. At FOUR. I won't go so far as to call us victims, but we are targets of media bombardment. And we must continue to teach her discernment from a very young age.